float on high and forever dance alone.

so you're gone and i'm haunted and i bet you are just fine, did i make it that easy, to walk right in and out of my life?

For that few weeks I stopped talking to you, I think you had no idea how painful and difficult it was for me to do it. I wanted to badly to tell you what’s going on. But I was dead sure, at that point of time that that was closure. What you said to them, hit the spot. And i couldn’t do anything, I couldn’t even stand up for myself. I wanted to hear it from you, but I figured, it would just be a different thing altogether. And I didnt know who to trust. But it seems you were more capable of lying to me, than them, because you probably didnt want to clear the mess.

For the longest time, I contemplated that maybe I should’ve demanded an explanation from you. But I didnt. I wanted to keep it simple. We shut up for a bit, I take a grasp of things, then we go back to normal. Pretty clear cut. For that few weeks, you were the only one thing on my mind. I was distraught as hell. And then what were you doing? Not the slightest hint of concern. I told myself this wasn’t going to work out. And I was right.

Those few weeks saw me at my lowest. I was weak, because I knew I couldn’t keep up with this uncomfortable silence for too long. I knew I couldn’t leave it at that. I wasn’t going to accept this kind of closure. That is just how I am.

So I left you an offline message. When I type that chunk out, I had this in mind: this could, or could not be second attempted closure. I never expected a reply from you, for it could’ve been loose backlash. Or simply for the sake of mimicking my actions. I sent you that because I didn’t want to think of what happened already.

You were dead special. You were different. Now I can’t let that blind me. So this is me now. Not wanting it anymore. Not wanting you. Because I’m mentally tired. With all this games. Child’s play. I’m beyond jaded. This is closure.

byeee, ♥.